My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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