this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
