By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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