i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
