you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize