Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she peed on how many people?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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