I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize