sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
