Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
