Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
