i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
