Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
