billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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