How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
