just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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