so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
