Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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