I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
