i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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