youre lurking in front of me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
