Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
