Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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