hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
