I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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