in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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