okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
