he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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