is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
