It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
