You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
