Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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