I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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