She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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