She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
