You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
