Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
