how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
