I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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