i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
