oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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