babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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