You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
