I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
