I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
