Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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