You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
