I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
