hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Everything about him screamed your future.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
