don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
