Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
