Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
