Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize