The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
