Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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