Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
