Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
