How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
