My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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