Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
