Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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