I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize