I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
false alarm. still invincible.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
