Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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