he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im six kinds of drunk right now
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
