Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
